So know that you know you have the character flaw
addicted to being
right, is there anything that you can do about
it? There surely is.
Let's take an in depth look at some of the
strategies for turning a this
common flaw into the virtue, humility. Flaws
exist because they are a
response to a challenge or a trauma that
threatens us, not because
people are innately bad. this is not meant to
deny that there are bad
people out there. There most certainly are. I
just don't believe that
anyone is hopelessly flawed. A little bit of
willingness goes a long
way along the path of personal transformation.
A man must be both stupid and uncharitable who
believes there is no
virtue or truth but on his own side.--Joseph
Let's say you have the willingness to change and
you now know that you
are addicted to being right. The first thing you
should do is
congratulate yourself. It's okay that you have
it. I'm as serious as a
heart attack about that. Most people who are
addicted to being right
never even get to this point. They never become
conscious of the fact
that they may just possibly have a flaw. As my
late father would say,
"I am never wrong, except when I think I am
wrong." He was addicted to
being right, but never admitted it. It's too bad
flaws definitely make life more difficult. You
might agree that they
make like more interesting too, but life is
interesting enough without
having a lot of baggage to carry around. It is
far wiser to release
your own and observe the flaws of others.
So ask yourself this unusual question: How is
addicted to being right
useful? Every flaw serves a purpose. Your mind
doesn't bother going
through the trouble of obsessing about being
right without some
perceived payback. What is the reward?
Addicted to being right often signals the need to
tread lightly. It
shows that the person has issues. One might be
trying to save face or
hold on to self esteem. What ever the reason is
for you, next time you
are caught being addicted to being right, try a
new tact. Try seeing it
as an opportunity to admit you're wrong.
How is admitting you're wrong helpful?
Admitting you are wrong shows you're human. Most
of my patients with
this flaw knew they were human and didn't need to
show it. At least
that is what they thought. In fact people who are
addicted to being
right are often criticized for not being
compassionate and caring about
others. I don't mean to imply that you should
admit you're wrong just
as a way to manipulate others into believing
you're human. Admitting
you are wrong is a way of being real with people.
Admitting you are wrong requires less maintenance
How often have you
met someone who demanded perfection of
themselves. These unfortunate
types flip-flop between demanding perfection and
giving up. They demand
so much of themselves that they prime themselves
for failure. Accepting
our own imperfections requires honesty. It the
long run honesty
requires much less maintenance.
Admitting you are wrong is associated with high
Self-esteem is that feeling of value you place on
yourself based on your
view of your past history, your body, and your
thoughts. On a deeper
level it has to do with who you believe you are
in the depths of your
being. People with high self esteem are rarely
addicted to being right.
Admitting you are wrong is associated with
self-esteem makes a person less resourceful and
prone to being addicted
to being right. A person who is able to admit
being wrong is more
resourceful because he believes he has the right
to develop new
Admitting your wrong breeds an environment of
tolerance. I've been
wrong enough to know that you and others are
capable of making mistakes
too. We all do. Admitting to being wrong creates
an environment of
tolerance, not just personal tolerance, but
tolerance of others.
Admitting your wrong creates open-mindedness. By
that I mean a more
willing environment for you opinions to be
reviewed. This is extremely
important if you are in search of the truth.
Open-mindedness is an
essential ingredient to discovering the truth.
Admitting your wrong will help point out where
you sound stupid. This
may not be a high priority on the list of things
sought for by someone
who is addicted to being right, but as one
becomes more mature it is
important to know where you sound like a fool and
how to correct it.
Addicted to being right sounds fairly lame to
people who are interested
in truth and high ideals so you may as well
figure out early on in life
where you sound stupid. Why wait to correct that?
Lastly it is important to admit your wrong and
then listen. Learning to
listen after admitting you are wrong is a
powerful way to get a fine
education. You will learn much more by listening
to others that by
Duty and Dignity
Those who never retract their opinions love
themselves more than they
love truth.--Joseph Jouber
It is your duty to search for truth. It is
everyone's responsibility to
seek what is right and just. Being mature enough
to admit that you are
wrong lend dignity to you. It also insures that
you will remain open
minded about life.
Let me take you through a process of responding
to being addicted to
1. Notice that you are upset when someone else
doesn't agree that you
are right. This is the first step in the process.
It is a simple
awareness that you are in reaction.
2. Pause and allow yourself to see how crazy it
is to be upset about
who's right. This is a simple task that requires
that you give your ego
a small time out. It is goofy to be that upset
about whether people
agree with you or not.
3. Don't be angry that you are in reaction, but
chalk it up to an
opportunity to gain insight about yourself.
Actually change the meaning
of your reaction from something that is off base
to an opportunity.
4. Forgive the other person for not having your
Hey, they have the freedom to believe what they
want, just like you do.
5. Examine if you are possibly wrong. If by any
you believe that you are in reaction and wrong
about it, please admit
6. Don't expect them to love you just because you
admitted you were
wrong. Just admit it and see what happens.
That will help you get more real, more humble and
will help your
relationships deepen. There is great dignity in
being able to admit
when you are wrong. It is wonderful to be around
that kind of person.